Awesome Letters to Awesome
by Acrnavy
Summary: The Awesome Trio have decided it is time to answer just how awesome thinks by letting you, to ask any question deemed worthy of the trio. Follow America, Prussia, Denmark, and a few others answer any question from something completely random to anything personal but not "stalkerish". Treat them the way you'd treat your older brother, oh wait... This is rated T.
1. Chapter 1

**Awesome Letters to Awesome**

Hello, Hallo, and Hej. I'm Alfred, this is Gilbert, and Mathias. We want you, yes you! To send us all you got! We'll answer anything you'd like or react to anything you post. The Awesome trio would like nothing more than to cater all the people who have potential awesome. See y'all later and be sure not to ask anything relating to a shortage of beer. You might traumatize the others.

We'll also bring in some guests as well. They might not be as awesome but it's up to you if they are deemed worthy of answering your questions. We hope for you to prove your awesomeness by asking about our awesomeness. Peace out!

* * *

I do not own Hetalia, this is rated T just to allow you the reader to go as crazy as the rating is. Review and any of the three will answer or even a guest. It can relate to pairings, personal info, or just random scenarios.


	2. Chapter 2

The following is rated T, for swearing and suggestive sexual themes, I do not own Hetalia.

* * *

**Awesome Letters** **to Awesome** **Chapter:** **2**

The trio stares intently at the mailbox until an update came upon the email. "You got mail!" Clicking the print button it was time awesome just got awesomer.

"All right! Zhe awesome me will read aloud the first letter! Ahem *cough* this message comes from MiriyaOtaku. The letter says... "

"Ciao Awesome Trio! *highfives everyone*  
Now questions for each of you:  
America: There is no more hamburgers in the world! What do you eat now?!  
Prussia: When did you notice that bird on your head? How long as it been there?  
Denmark: If you could be any other country for a day, who would it be?  
Well, see you later!"

America: "No burgers... No burgers... No burgers..." Opens window "Life isn't worth living!"

Prussia: "No! America if you die it'd be the awesome duo and it would just be awkward!"

America: "Fine... I'd eat... Kentucky Fried Chicken, 'cause it's awesome." Flashes a Heroic smile.

Denmark: "That's debatable."

Prussia: "Now to answer the question about me, I've always known mien bird was on mien head yet it was awkward at times when I wake up after drinking to realize he's still there."

Denmark: "At least it's not as bad as the time that Austria mistook it for dinner and nearly cooked it alive."

Prussia: "True, also I'm not sure when it decided to make a nest out of mien head, though I'd guess it came around the time when I was cute. Oh wait, I'm still cute! Am I right fangirls?"

Crowd cheering in the background

Denmark: "My turn! My turn! If I could be any country it'd be any Germanic country. After all we do have the best beer! I'd say probably Prussia, beer in the blood would be truly awesome!"

Prussia: "Thanks man! But I don't think you can handle my beer blood."

Denmark: "Is that a bet?"

Prussia: "Why wouldn't it be? We all know I'm the better drinker! Am I right, fangirls?"

Crowd starts cheering again.

Denmark: "Just because you have a bigger fan base doesn't mean you drink more."

America: "Um guys we've got another email. But I'd have to be on Denmark's side on this one."

Prussia: "Traitor! After I spent mien time training you during your revolution, you repay me by questioning my ability to drink. Shame on you."

America: "I'll be reading the next letter, it is from Elizaveta H. Austria..."

"GUTEN TAG MINE AWESOME FRIENDS! Relax I'm not crazy just 15 nationalities I'm actually Prussian, Danish and American there now you know 3 of my nationalities (if you want to know all of them just ask) Just one question then a few comments. ahem, one: (warning possibility of an all out war)  
who is...the ...most...*flinches slightly* awesome ? And what do you guys think about the ships of UsUk, Denor, and Prucan? *waits for awesome war to break out (scared slightly)* H-hey don't fight too much or *Russia aura* I vill come over there and you will need hospital da? *AHEM*  
Sorry did I mention I'm Russian too? Ah well doesn't matter I'm too awesome!  
Ciao Bellas!"

Prussia: Vell ve can all agree who is the most awesome among us, so lets all just say it in unison.

Trio: Me!

America: "What? I'm clearly the most awesome, I am the Hero of the world as well as the only superpower!"

Prussia: "I taught you how to be awesome and it's in my name 'Gilbert Awesome Beilschmidt'."

Denmark: "I never knew your middle name was awesome, but I'm still the awesomest, it takes awesome to be the King of the Nordics."

*a few hours of violent fighting later*

Prussia: "All right, lets just agree we are all awesome. But the person who posted is also awesome. Who cannot be awesome if they have Prussian blood?"

Denmark: "Russia."

America: Still passed out

Prussia: Next question, Ummm... What's Can? Am I shipped with a tin can? Why fangirls?! Why?"

Denmark: "I'm pretty sure they are referring to ummm... Hmmm, I can't seem to remember his name." Scratching his head and thinking.

America: Gets up slowly "I think it's Canadia... Canada! My bro!"

Prussia: "Ohhhh... Who?"

Denmark: "She also said DenNor, Norway right? Well he's sexy I guess, but we haven't been intimate since the Kalmar Unions, but hell, at least I'm not paired up with Icy or Fin, if I was Norway and Sweden would be on my ass." . . . "Dear god, fangirls!"

America: So I'm paired with Super brows then, well I hope the sex isn't too kinky. I bet the fangirls would really love to picture me getting topped by some fruity pirate. It couldn't hurt, but still I'd hate to see breakfast in bed." Shudders "What kind of sick person would imagine something so dreadful?"

Prussia: "Mhmmm, Canada."

America: "Dude! That's my bro! What if some fangirl paired your brother with me."

Prussia: "I'd choke a bitch."

Denmark: "Prussia, we cannot hurt the fans, they have a right to pair us with anyone they like."

America: "You're just saying because your fine with who you're shipped with."

Prussia: "Wait did she call us "Bellas" as in calling us girls?"

Denmark: "I'll have you know when your this sexy and masculine, you could never be a girl and if I was I'd be so hot, global warming would be true."

Prussia: "You don't believe in global warming?"

America:" Hold on guys, we've got another letter! It's from someone named..."

"Hej storebror! It's Elleore!

Ladonia challenged me and you to a building contest between us and him and Sweden! We need LEGOS! LOTS OF LEGOS! And maybe a catapult! *grins evilly* Whaddya say?"

Denmark: "I say awesome!"

Prussia: "You don't have any Legos, Denmark."

Denmark: "Of course I do, remember that Viking ship, I built."

Prussia: "Which you rammed your car into when you were drunk. You didn't even take it out of your room even!"

America: "Well that's all the time we've got, please send more letters to our awesome trio."


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own Hetalia or anything as Awesome, this is rated T for swearing and suggestive sexual themes.

* * *

**Awesome Letters to Awesome Chapter: 3**

Denmark pokes the mail box over and over while America is playing pong on his phone. Then bam! Prussia enters the room holding his laptop in front of them. Smirking proudly, on the screen revealed some new emails.

Prussia: "We're in business boys!"

America: "Awww yeah! Let's kick ass! Now who's the it from? I'm confident, no, I'm awesome!"

Denmark: Squinting at the screen "I believe it is Elizaveta H. Austria again, I'll read..."

"Bonjour mi amis! and IM BACK BIATCHOES MUAHAHAHAHA! and yes actually all your guesses on pairing are correct. And America you top not Iggy and you guys are my favorite ship, hey hey don't yell at me and you and Prussia are paired your

siblings ... incest BUT I DONT SUPPORT IT! its weird and Germany belongs with Italy not *shivers* prussia "SO not awesome!" any way usuk and prucan is super

cute search usuk yaoi and prucan yaoi on the internet or ask hungary about it sooo YA oh I informed Iggy-chan on usuk yaoi with pictures *lolz* HE FAINTED

OH WOW THAT WAS GOOD! but I had to fight off france from going perv on Iggy but I GOT TO PUNCH THAT BLOODY FROG! and now I will leave you with my

naotionalities list :

English, Irish, Dutch, Danish, Welch, Italian, Sicilian, Neapolitan,

American, Canadian, French, German, Prussian, Ukrainian, and Russian!

p.s bellas means beautifuls! dude italian learn it! and I GOTZ YOU ALL BEER! *sets down beer and walks away* Au revoir mes amis impressionnants!

(goodbie my awesome friends)

*after much drinking*

America: Did you hear that Iggy totally fainted! Classic, I should try that some time. I'd be like 'Iggy we need to talk... I'd like so much if you'd sex me up real hard.' Hilarious right? But the fangirls might get the wrong idea."

Denmark: "Dude..."

Prussia: On the computer, "I'm not surprised." Wipes off bloody nose "This stuff is pretty explicit, if you know what I mean. Also I'd never do anything on West, besides I always assumed he was straight with all the porn he's collected."

America: "Did you hear her nationality list?"

Prussia: "Ja, it's as if she is blessed with Prussian, American, and Danish but is cursed with Russian, English, and French. You gotta feel bad for her a little, but she's awesome enough to survive."

Denmark: "So America, you hear France hitting on England again. You jealous?"

America: "Of course not, dude. I mean, England's such a hard ass so I'd feel that France is the idiot. A complete idiot... A fool..." Gets up and runs toward the door.

Denmark: "America, we're not done yet! Besides I haven't even finished reading the email yet!"

America: "Fine, read the rest."

"America Search up Visa Versa UsUk on youtube Wadya think?"

*a few minutes later*

America: "Who's the rat who's been spouting these "lies"! I mean England isn't that bad but I mean... Ugh I'm going!"

Denmark: "You still have to stay, we've got more messages, my friend. You'll need to suffer- I mean answer with us."

America: "I mean I don't love him, but the dude is kinda cool. Doctor Who isn't that bad of a show..."

Prussia: "I'll read this next one since America is near his breaking point. Zhe awesome Prussia has received a letter from Sealand. What the heck is a Sealand?"

Denmark: "Sweden's kid I think, anyways just read it!"

"Dear the awesome trio,

this is Peter kirklandbutpleasekeepreadingmyleterthough. I have some questions for you. How is one deemed awesome? Because I say I am, and no one believes me. But I still have faith in myself, just like I have that Sealand will indeed be recognized as a country one day. My point is, I do awesome stuff all the time, like wear a fanny pack, or eat dinner at four. I sometimes wear satchel but people always call it a purse, I don't really like that. If anything, it's a man purse. At least that makes sense, you know, because I'm a man. I don't understand how people would confuse that. Bye now!

-Peter"

Prussia: "First off, fanny pack and satchel are defiantly not cool, neither is eating at 4. Though kid, I believe we could make an awesome out you."

*after a few minutes of listening to Prussia's parody of "I'll make a man out of you"*

America: Anyways, one becomes awesome by being so cool that everyone that is around you is either jealous of your awesomeness or are angry all the time about you expressing your awesomeness.

Prussia: "Tell you vhat, ve vill make you an honorary member if you're so confident of your awesomeness. "

Denmark: "Though none of us will call you a country though. Yet we all agree that England is in fact a jerk."

Pokes America "You still alive."

America: "I don't love England... Honest." Mumbling quietly.

Denmark: "Anyways here's our next awesome letter, it is from a guest but that doesn't mean it's awesome. If it is awesome, every reader can buy me 1 beer, if it's not, still buy me beer."

Prussia: "This one appears to be addressed to mainly America..."

"Hello Awesome Trio! Like Elizabeta H. Austria , I also have a lot of

nationalities. I was born in America and I am part Mexican, Spanish, English, Scottish, Polish, Russian and there's probably a lot more I don't know about

.

Question to all of you: How did you get so awesome?

America: So there's this rumor in the fandom that your states also have

personification and that they are your kids... What do you have to say about these rumors?"

Prussia: "Well I guess it's story time, once upon a time there lived a brave knight named Teutonic Order, he was a hero. He'd done countless deeds of freeing the land of pagans to helping that wimp Hungary. It was when I vas very young, even before I was truly represented as the Teutonic Knights, it was in Israel in which I realized how awesome I was. Though the first crusade had seemed successful, many were dying. Even though it was for mien religion, I couldn't help but feel bad for the citizens.

As I fought many Turks, I'd worked hard on helping others there too. I made an oath during the battle, that I would be awesome towards others."

America: "Lame, no explosions."

Prussia: "That was mien History, when I made an oath to help others... And you thought it was boring!"

Denmark: "Settle down, Prussia. You're giving yourself white hairs."

Prussia: "Very funny."

Denmark: "I'll just answer by saying this, I was born awesome."

America: "Agreed, for the other question... It is true that my states are personified but they aren't my children yet in some ways they are. In truth, the connection I have between them isn't like mine and Canadia's. They seem to be blood-related to me, but I'm not sure to be honest. You'll have to ask them yourselves. I do find it funny though how you fangirls and fanboys have been speculating this. America out!" Jumps out the window but is held by collar.

Denmark: "Not so fast, we have another message!"

"MiriyaOtaku:Ciao! It's me again!

Anyway, I have a few what-would-happen-if questions:

America: What would happen if England and France both went missing?

Prussia: What would happen if your brother went insane?

Denmark: What would happen if the other Nordics got kidnapped except for you?

Well, bye again!"

Denmark: Throws America inside "I'll go first! Well, I'd probably go insane. I mean, not because of the possibility that they are being held hostage and in danger, the real reason would be is that I'd be excluded." Sobbing a little. "As king of the Nordics, I have the right to be around my subjects."

Prussia: "There, there. They'd never leave you behind, carelessly. If anything they'd come right away if you send them an email of your search history."

Denmark: "Sick bastard, don't you dare! Just because I got curious of how far fans would go with DenNor, DenIce, and DenSu, doesn't mean you have to show them too!"

Prussia: "Anyvays my turn! Zhe awesomeness would say... Vell I vouldn't blame Ludwig, he does have to deal vith Italy every day. Lets face it, Italy isn't very smart. Though even if he went insane, beer vill always help. America your turn!"

America: "Well I would be completely fine if Francy-Pants was gone, but them together..." Blushes "I won't allow it! I'll save you Iggy." Opens window again.

Denmark: "Dude! These are only what ifs, now quit going suicidal on us. Seriously, someone as awesome as you shouldn't be phased by this."

America: "You're right... The hero always wins the lady!"

Prussia: "That's all the time we have, see you next time on 'Awesome Letters to Awesome'."


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own Hetalia, nor Murica, zhe awesome Prussia, or the King of the Nordics. This is rated T, for swearing and suggestive themes. **

* * *

**Awesome Letters to Awesome Chapter: 4**

America hitting his head against the wall repeatedly while Denmark is getting his toast out with a fork. Then Prussia kicks down the door and is holding a Mac from the other room.

Prussia: "It's that time again~! We answer all zhe new emails! This time lets not talk about America's sex life zhis time."

America: "For once I agree, now both of you! Quit using my computer to search up yaoi, it's starting to come to the point in which it's just plain creepy. Russia creepy."

Denmark: "I haven't been searching any of it up lately. It's probably just Prussia at this point." Looks at search history. "Or maybe it was you as well! There seems to be a lot of Britain searches. Dirty dirty."

America: "Can we just answer the email already?"

Prussia: "Fine, *cough* I'll read... This is from Elizaveta H. Austria yet again."

America: "She's a regular at this point, so read the message!"

"SUP BRE I GOTZ MORE QUESTIONS America usuk fan are screaming over this and GODDAMNIT ENGLAND IS AWESOME (every thing except his cooking) think about it he lived with France AND Scotland AND lived he fought in ww2 basically alone until he had to go to America he deals with France on a daily basis AND HE HAS MAGIC! Being British French and Russian isn't that bad :'( Ima great cook (French, Italian) and a threatening fight opponent! (Russian, German) I can

take on the king of the Nordic if I wanted to! Oh and Prussia you are also in a pairing of rupru and Prussia you bottom ITS SO WIERD I can handle when they pair you with Austria but Russia? NO! And America more videos look up "not a usuk fan?" on YouTube the thumbnail image should be you and iggy on a couch together reading a book.

AWW you would save iggy-Chan! This time I brought a small red velvet cake with buttercream frosting!

(puts down cake)

CIAO MIEN AWESOME FRIENDS!

Elizabeta H. Austria"

*after a minutes of America eating*

Prussia: "I'm paired with who?! What kind of deluded fangirl would do such an unawesome act against zhe might Prussia! I thought you loved me fangirls."

Denmark: "What was that about being able to beat the King of the Nordics, being it on, bitch!"

America: "Seriously guys, chill out. You're overreacting. Calm down and you won't be as aggravated at her."

Prussia: "You're not made because you haven't watched the video yet."

America: "..."

*after watching the video*

America: "... I do not love Iggy! How many times do I have to repeat it?!"

Denmark: "Until it's not true."

*after an epic fight*

Prussia: "Anyvays I don't zhink England is only that awesome..."

America: "What was that?!"

Denmark: "Dude, you just proved my point. I bet the fangirls all over are cheering at this moment."

Prussia: "Come out the closet and admit to the British bastard. If you don't France might."

*after another epic fight*

America: "Okay I think I'm done here..." Slowly creeps out but is caught by the foot.

Denmark: "We've got another letter, genius. So sit back down and answer already or swear to god the King of the Nordics will whoop your ass!"

Prussia: "Quit giving them crack, Denny."

Denmark: "Sorry fandom! Sorry Author!"

**Not another word Denmark.**

Prussia: "I'll just read..."

"Ciao mi amigos! *derp face* Hows it going dudes! I am from England and I have some questions for you!

America: cuz we all know that you LUVS England... What would happen if he got r-ped by France? How would you react?

Prussia: Cuz you can drink sooo much beer *mega sarcasim* My sister can drink twice a much a you! So how about after this you an my sister have a drink off? *smirking*

Denmark: You. Are. So... EPIC! Did ya know that epic it even better than

awesome? Any way cuz I LUVS you, and cuz imma crazy! *crazy smile* Can you prank call Norway and tell him your quitting your job an then say " I have to poop"?

Ciao mi amigos! Denmark you RULE! America your too fat! And Prussia your hair is full of bird poop! Ciao! *vanishes*"

America: "But I don't love, Iggy... But if that Frenchie had the balls to do that to Iggy, lets just say those balls won't exist the next time around. Basically, I'm going to rip his manhood off and feed it to him!"

Prussia: "Hey America, did you hear that you were called fat."

America: Throws a happy meal at Prussia's head "Prussia your turn-"

Prussia: "Well tell her it's on! But I suggest you get some life support, since alcohol poison is the only thing she'll win!"

America: "Dude... Not nice. I mean seriously, that's just messed up, man."

Prussia: "I know, I'm sorry. As an apology I'll give her my autograph. Though I have a specific place I prefer to sign, if you know what I mean."

Denmark: "Know you're just a dirty old man. Okay my turn! I know right? I'm totally epic, much more than these two that is. Just for that compliment I'll call Norge right now." Dialing Norway's phone number in. "I'm quitting my job and I have to-" he paused "He told me I was drunk and hung up on me."

Prussia: "Did they just say my hair is bird shit? I'm albino, not Gilbird's toilet!"

America: "We've got one more message left. I shall read it allowed..."

"Heyo! Err, I've got a question, only one. Yep. So, How are you guys so irresistible, sexy and cute all the time, all at the same time? That's all,"

Trio: Because we're awesome!

America: "We have to coordinate though or one us of is too sexy and puts the other two to shame. It's quite the complicated procedure. God forbid, we made many slip ups over the years. One time, Denny put his hair down and he tripled his cuteness. Our group was never the same after that."

Prussia: It was truly a dark day to remember. Though most of the time we even it out by insulting Dane everyday.

Denmark: "Well, when you're the awesomest in the group, you're not offended by anything at this point. Stay tuned for next episode of-"

A banging was heard upon the door, the three countries stood in horror as a figure appeared in the doorway. "East! What zhe hell are you doing?! Quit hanging around mien house?!" Barked the new person. Or... Germany.

* * *

**That's right, our guest star Germany will also be answering questions. So if you don't want to talk to just the these awesome peeps you may also talk to this built German.**

Germany: "Who zhe hell you?! Get out of my house!" Holding an old-fashioned pistol.

**I don't mean any trouble, I'm just the Narrator/Author. Please don't shoot! You'll break the fourth wall!**

Germany: Lowers pistol and backs away slowly "Scheiße."


	5. Chapter 5

**This is rated T for suggestive themes and swearing, I do not own Hetalia if I did Denmark would get more screen time and USUK would be canon.**

* * *

**Awesome Letters to Awesome Chapter: 5**

A pissed off yet muscular German stared at the apologetic trio. "We're sorry!" Then Internet explorer finally loaded and a few messages popped up on the email. The Prussian made a run for it but was taken out by the youthful sexy blonde man. "Nien!" The American then made a run for it and secured the computer.

America: "I got the computer we can start now guys! Denny hold back Ludwig, Prussia, you read the emails!"

Prussia: Crawls to the Mac "Alright... Zhe first message is from Elizaveta H. Austria again..."

"Hola it's me again and yes he is more awesome then you three combined face it Britain used to be a EMPIRE the worlds strongest empire to be exact! DENMARK  
YOUR ON! *holds up sword and dual sided battle axe* I also have throwing  
knives :) any way america i must tell you i found your diary Ahem JOURNAL and England's to so nows the time to confess or I will read it to find out myself!  
Prussia don't shoot him down for having a diary you have a ROOM dedicated to volumes of your diary! And DOISU! VE AHEM sorry about that Doitshland (forgive spelling errors) any way my friend has what you call an Italy complex no not  
random fangirlness I'm dead serious she is like Italy and I am you her  
Germany, aka Im the scary person that comes to her rescue. Ok now it's  
teramisu an Italian desert and lemonade  
CIAO PEOPLE!  
Elizabeta H. Austria"

America: "... You have a room full of diaries, Prussia?"

Prussia: "SHUT UP!"

Denmark: Brings out over-sized axe "The ladies could never turn down this. I can beat anyone I want since I am epic."

America: "Get over yourself!"

Prussia: "You should be talking, America."

America: "Toućhe."

Germany: Vhy ze hell am I dragged into this?! I don't even want to be here!"

Prussia: "Bruder quit asking questions, that's the fan's job! We have very little screen time and a lot of questions."

Germany: "Rrrr..."

America: Wait what did she say about diary... I mean journal. I better call in a SWAT Team to retrieve it, because I'm not confessing to Iggy. I mean I don't like him or anything..." Blushing brightly (like a Doitsu).

Germany: ... Vell I'm sorry for you." Truly empathizes with Eliza.

Denmark: "Next up we have MiriyaOtaku yet again!"

"MiriyaOtaku:Ciao again everybody!  
I have a question for all of you to answer this time:  
What do you think of your 2p! counterparts? Have you met them yet?  
Well, bye again! *leaves to eat some pizza*"

America: "Who cares to start?"

Germany: "I haven't had zhe chance nor do I vant to. You fans make them out as psychos so I'd prefer not meeting any."

Prussia: "West, are you chicken?"

Germany: "NIEN!"

Prussia: "You didn't have to yell, oh but I did meet my 2p! He was surprisingly unawesome. Kind of a wuss actually, even worse than Specs."

Denmark: "I haven't met mine, but after hearing about Prussia's I'm happier not knowing."

America: "Agreed."

Denmark: "I hope he's as sexy as me though, I don't want some poser ruining my image."

America: "Get over yourself-"

Denmark: "You first, Hero."

America: "Toućhe."

Germany: Clears throat and reads next letter.

"Thanks for answering ! ( Even if it wasn't awesome) Now, Denmark I will not be the one to decide if my question is awesome or not but I am positive that there is many people who are willing to buy you a beer.  
Prussia: Please forgive me for excluding you in my prior question , but now the world knows how the awesome Prussia came to be! Nobody can't say that you aren't now.  
America: Sorry if it was a bit too personal or offensive , but the fandom did make a good point that the Mexican-American War seemed a lot like a child-custody battle. Again sorry if the previous question was offensive and if this one was unnerving too .  
STAY AWESOME!"

America: It was perfectly fine, the Mexican-American War was rough, but it ended a while ago. Now I have fifty loving states."

Prussia: "It's fine if I wasn't include, zhe awesome Prussia will always be awesome. Even with these two lesser awesome enigmas."

Germany: "Get over yourself."

Denmark: "..."

Germany: "Anyvays, Denmark I think the guest does have a point. I would buy you a beer." Begins to whisper "Though none of my stash."

Prussia: "I never knew you were selfish like me. I'm so proud!"

Germany: "It was shown in the movie."

Prussia: "I didn't get enough screen time in it! All I got was a few minutes, I think I'm entitled to more!"

America: "I think we should get onto the next letter, before the fourth wall gets anymore cracks."

**The super glue is not working, I repeat, the super glue is not working.**

America: "This one is from Estalla again..."

"Oooooo! So the really well built Germany is here, eh? Well since your here I think... Can I have your autograph?! PLEASE! ILU! Also Denmark; your cute when  
your drunk!  
Prussia; Y U BEAT UP AUSTRIA?! I dont likes you now!  
America: you do know that people pair you with my Daddy Russia, right?"

Denmark: Cute when I'm drunk, I'll have you know I'm always cute." Gives a smile that'll give every fangirl and that one fanboy a bloody nose.

Germany: "Vell I guess an autograph wouldn't hurt." Signs the first thing he can find, it was a CD with the title "German Sparkle Party". "Here, we'll send it through mail. I just wait a few weeks."

Prussia: My turn, I beat up Austria because he's such a priss. It's fine by me I lose a fan, besides you gotta say he's cute after you give him a beating."

America: "Sadist!"

Prussia: "Shut up, you."

America: "Wait... I'M PAIRED WITH RUSSIA?! Why fangirls? Why? You sick messed up monsters!"

**I actually find the pairing to be quite nice. Not as much as USUK though.**

America: "Get the hell out of here, Narrator!"

**Sheesh, don't have to be such an ass about it.**

America: "It's bad enough you pair me with Iggy, but Russia? C'mon, next thing you know someone will say twincest! When that day comes, the fandom will be cut in half."

Denmark: "Chill man, you can't keep doing this! You're too impulsive. Be glad you haven't been sent in any requests yet."

America: "Why did you have to remind them?!"

Germany: "Requests..." Edges himself toward the door only to find it locked. "Scheiße."

Denmark: "I'll read this one!"

"OK so Prussia first because he's the awesomest! What's going on between you and Hungary hmmm?  
America next! I personally think burger king has the best fries and Wendy's has the best burgers, hate mcdonalds. Thoughts?  
Denmark how do you get your hair to stand up like that, do you have like ten pounds of hair gel in there or made a deal with the devil *cough Russia*!"

Prussia: "What does he mean by Hungary and I? We have a normal rivalry."

America: "By rivalry you mean getting your skull cracked by a pan every so often. Correct?"

Prussia: "Maybe, but at least I'm right in the end. She's still stalking me after the whole "vital regions" thing as well as teasing me about getting beat up by a girl."

Denmark: "Hungary has more balls than you do!"

Prussia: "That's not true-" Cut off by Germany.

Germany: "East, you do realize the Narrator might tell her just to boost the rating."

Prussia: "Scheiße."

America: "To answer your question, I'll agree that burger does have the better fries and Wendy's burgers are better, but McDonalds is the da superstar. How can you not be happy after a happy meal?"

Prussia: "I feel sick after a happy meal."

America: "You can just leave, Prussia!"

No he can't, you all have to keep going till all the letters are answered.

Denmark: "My hair? I don't use hair jell nor had made a deal with a demon like Russia. In truth..." Looks around. "It is natural."

Prussia and America: BS!

Denmark: "It's the truth. It takes a million dollars worth of hair gel to put it down. Trust me on this one, see for yourselves."

Prussia: Pokes hair and inspects it over and over "It's the truth..."

America: "Oh my god..."

Prussia: "This next one appears to be... Your states!"

"S: Hey, I'm Caroline Carriedo-Bonnefoy-Kirkland-Riffle-Jones. Or you can just call me South(Carolina).

N: I'm Charlotte Carriedo-Bonnefoy-Kirkland-Riffle-Jones. Lots of last names, rough childhood. Quick warning about South, she likes anything that has to do with sex, especially incest. I'm North, by the way.

S: Can't deny the truth. Daddy, me, Ohio, and Michigan were talking and agreed that there's sexual tension between you and Iggybrows.

N: Iggybrows, you can never forget his cooking and how he abandoned Roanoke.

S: Like how Spain chose St. Augustine over Santa Elena. For just one moment I was a capital.

N: Of La Florida.

S: I was still a capital.

F: Did I hear my name?

S: Go away Florida. But before you leave, say hi to dad, Prussia, Denmark, and Germany.

F: Hola, I'm Scott Carriedo-Riffle-Jones. Hey Georgia, come say hi!

G: I'm Georgia, yes that's my human and state name. I really don't feel like putting my last names.

S: We live together because me and Char are twins, Georgia keeps the peace, and Florida is Florida.

F: I lost a bet...

G: Now he has to live with us three crazy girls and one of them has slight anger issues and is a flirt to the extreme.

S: I DO NOT HAVE ANGER ISSUES AND I'M NOT A FLIRT!

N: Now onto you guys! Prussia, can you call Penn and tell him you are the awesomest person in the world?

F: I got one! Dad have you ever been attacked by an alligator.

S: It hurts when they bite. I want to know which of you are single, other than dad.

G: I guess that's all.

With love,

South Carolina, North Carolina, Florida, and Georgia."

Prussia and Denmark: "Daddy?"

America: "Shut up! I don't have any sexual tension with Iggy and South... We'll talk later."

Prussia: "I think I'll just answer their request..." Types in Penn's phone number "I am zhe awesomest person in the world!" Then went silent

Denmark: "I think Prussia just lost one of the states' respect for him."

America: "Agreed, and I have been attacked by an Alligator. One time, I was going to visit Florida, but got lost on the way. Instead of getting to Orlando, I accidentally arrived in the Everglades. Unknowingly, I thought I'd take a swim since it was so damn hot. Too bad, the log I rested on during my swim wasn't a log. Nearly lost Nantucket after that one, but your dad survived."

Prussia: "Say America, do ever feel guilty about people who call your... Florida?"

America: "I correct everyone about it, I'm sorry Florida. Daddy screwed up!"

Denmark: "You bet he did. Say... Ludwig has been awfully..." Glances around. "He escaped! That lucky bastard!"

America: "Stay tuned for next time, this had been the awesome trio. Peace!"


	6. Chapter 6

I do not own Hetalia, if I did Denmark would have more screen time and America would be god. Plus Prussia will be showing his awesome bod! This is rated T for suggestive themes and cussing.

* * *

**Awesome Letters to Awesome Chapter: 6**

America taking a nap by Denmark as the clock slowly ticks over and over. The door way is then kicked down and Prussia appears "We've got mail, boys." He then shakes the two awake.

Prussia: "Alright, just because we have less than last time doesn't mean you don't have to try. Now lets answer these messages!"

Denmark: "Getting right to it we've got Elizaveta H. Austria first! She writes..."

"Sup im back and america the SWAT didn't work and I will now read page ...17 of america's then page 20 of Englands  
Aug. 7 2005  
I'm not sure what to do I think I love him I KNOW I like him I'm not sure if  
he likes me back. Today we had a meeting and I thought I saw him staring at me with those eyes emerald and deep, covered partially by his forever messy blond hair and those eyebrows...

England's, Journal pg.20  
Aug. 7 2005  
That git, god why do I like him? I like everything about him were so different but the same. I like his sky blue eyes, his neat sandy blond hair with that one piece defying gravity standing tall, His glasses that frame his picturesque face. The meeting today it was the same but I thought I saw him looking, I wonder If he likes me back.

Care to explain and Denmark I beat SWAT to read those diaries and the british military I can beat you. *door slams I run in the room* HEADS UP ENGLAND'S COMING!  
England: *burst through door* GIVE IT BACK YOUR WORSE THAN MY SISTER! *about to grab my shirt*  
me: *chucks scones at england's head and knocks him out* Wow his cooking really does suck, huh? *remembers the diaries* MERDA! *runs away closes and locks door*  
CIAO!  
Elizabeta H. AUSTRIA"

America: "... Call in the the missiles."

Prussia: "He's in denial at this point. I know he just can't admit that he 'woves' England."

America: "Shut up, Prussia if you keep it up I'll spread rumors about you."

Prussia: "You wouldn't..."

America: "Try me... PRUSSIA INVADED AUSTRIA'S VITAL REGIONS AND HE LIKED IT!"

Prussia: "That's it you're dead!"

Denmark: "Guys we can all agree that you're both idiots when it comes to love."

America: "I do not love England! I don't even own a diary."

Denmark: Coughes "Bull shit." Coughes

America: "I bet you're feeling real strong with your mistress Norway, Iceland, and Sweden."

Denmark: "Hey man!"

**Guys! Will you shut up, I'm trying to sleep. If you keep this up, I'll force yaoi upon you all!**

Trio: "Fine..."

**America has a diary~!**

America: "Dude get back to narrating and not teasing. Besides I have money that you have a diary!"

**I'm a dude! Dude's don't have diaries, oh right. You and Prussia do!**

Prussia: "Ignoring the narrator, lets continue. We've got another letter and I'll have the honors of reading it!"

America: "I want to read it!"

Prussia: "Too bad!"

"Wha...? Prussia? Y-you call Austria a-a priss? *voices cracks* WHAAAAAA! *crys in a corner*  
Simon Daniels: Hey I will be taking over her letters since she is crying over Prussia calling Austria a priss. You have just ruined her PruAus dreams. Any way I am a shy ghost boy who is eleven years old and commited suicide cuz I was a victim to bullying... *sigh* the sad old days...

Prussia: You made my sister upset! Feel the rage of ghost POWERS! *ghosts come to haunt Prussia for the rest of his life* Also did you know that you are part of the pitiful trio?

Denmark: I do have to admit that you are *cough* sexy *cough* so I send you lots of beer and money!

America: is it true that you and Denmark once put energy drink into Greece's drink at a world meeting and he then had it with Australia? I bet Australia hurt you like hell!

Ciao.  
-from a once forgotten child"

Prussia I believe she deserves an apology.

Prussia: "I'm sorry."

**And? You have to cancel out priss with something else. Something flattering and kind.**

Prussia: Sighs "Austria is a complete hunk and is the sexiest man alive, happy?"

**Not until you go to the M section and make all us yaoi fans happy.**

Prussia: "Wait what was that about ghost powers... Also I may be a part of pitiful trio, but I'm now the head of the awesome trio and that is what counts!"

America & Denmark: "Head?"

Denmark: Also I know I'm the sexist and thanks for the beer and money. I'll give you some pictures of me because you're awesome!"

America: "Also I did but that's a story for another day. And yes, yes it did. You should see what happens when I poisoned Italy's pasta, it was even more cruel but hilarious."

Prussia: "That's just messed up, dude."

Denmark: "Seriously America, that is wrong almost as wrong as the captive I got while you guys were talking."

Prussia & America: "Captive?"

Denmark: "That's right! I bagged us a Sweden. Now he'll answer questions for next time so we won't have very few letters."

Sweden: "..."

America: "Why is he quiet?"

Denmark: "I had to knock him out or I might lose my spiky hair. Now can you guys help me tie him up."

**That's right peeps, for next time it's the awesome trio plus Sweden. Ask them any question, give any request, or even tell them whatever. Be sure to talk to Swe while he's still here. 'Cause these guys always find a way out... Or do they think... *glances at Germany* Stay tune!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I do not own Hetalia nor might I ever. The following is rated T for suggestive themes and swearing.**

* * *

**Awesome Letters to Awesome Chapter: 7**

The trio began to throw rocks at the Mac over and over, as the friendly neighborhood mailman arrived. He dropped the sac of letters "Enjoy~." The man said before departing as he disappeared into nothingness.

America: "Wow look at that..."

Prussia: "Awesome..."

Denmark: "Quit gawking and start reading Sweden is getting very antsy."

Sweden: "I w'nt to go already. Denmark you'll lose another hair if you don't b'ck off."

Denmark: "Read it, Murica!"

America: "Alright! It appears to be from that ghostly guy helping Estalla. It looks like he's still angry at you Prussia."

Prussia: Shivers "I hope you're wrong, his powers are not something to take lightly. I needed to take twelve awesome showers just to wash off my shame. It was very sexy by the way."

America: "Alright..."

"Simon Daniels: HELLZ YEAH! I GET PICS OF DENMARK! WOHOO! ... ahem... sorry

about that... ANY WAY:

Prussia: yes you are part of the Pitiful Trio cuz your not a country and cuz everyone pity's you!

Denmark: Thanks for the pics! you have made me very happy, so, here is my phone number; 111111111110002

America: why did you put energy drink into Greece's drink? you do know that the drink might kill him cuz he's not used to so much energy. *mutters* I'm surprised that you haven't killed him yet...

Any way that is all and Estella is doing just fine! but she's in hospital

having a MAJOR break down cuz of Prussia... but she's making a recovery. Any way she wants Denmark to say that he loves Norway cuz she needs yaoi in her

yaoi system! *creepy stare*

Ciao!

-from a once forgotten child"

America: "I pity the fool."

Prussia: "Shut up, America."

Denmark: Sending sexy pics "Here's some nice ones, they get a real good look of my-"

Prussia: "Stop."

Denmark: "I was going to say hair, and also to help Estalla. I love Norway."

Elsewhere... Norway sneezed and then wiped his nose "Stupid Dane."

America: "Eh, it's not like he'll die. If anything I have a feeling Turkey is probably in the most danger. If you know what I mean."

Prussia: "Who needs to be a country anyways?"

America: "What a pity."

Prussia, I suggest you also send some sexy pics of you and Austria to Estalla. I am not getting sued again.

Prussia: "You're destroying the fourth wall!"

America: "Anyways on to our next letter! It is again from Elizaveta H. Austria..."

"Ciao I'm back! CHILL AMERICA CHILL! *runs to bomb shelter* not cool bre and I dropped your journal in the room in mah last visit along with England somehow...OH WELL i actually have more questions

1. who can drink the most (leave England out of this)

2. AMERICA *sing song voice* I feel bad for Admitting for you that you love Iggy-chan sooooo I MADE CUPCAKES THAT LOOK LIKE LITTLE BURGERS FOR YOU and

beer for you all from your respected countries.

3. guys read some UsUk fan fictions and then tell me umm you can read..."Movie marathon by lunar iris," or "UsUk moments by LucyMoon1992." or maybe a demon x angel fic "Angel and Demon by LadySkarlettofSkaro" tehe! and there is some kind of UsUk in all my stories if you squint (metaphor)

4. prussia if you think you hate romania now read my story "hidden and Unexpected romance" ;)

BIE USUK!

Elizabeta H. Austria"

America: "Prussia hold me back!"

Denmark: "Anyways the answer to number is clearly me. Seeing how I'm know mainly for my "insane" drinking ages but I mean c'mon 21 in the US? Bullshit! I could never wait that long. Besides we all know who's the best."

Russia: "Me."

**Hold on, Russia we went over this. You're going to get your debut later, for now it's Sweden's turn. Why isn't he speaking?**

Denmark: "Beats me."

*After drinking and eating*

America: "I'm not going to read those lies!"

Prussia: "Dude you have to respect others, we can't read them because cheap ass here wants the chapter in by at least tomorrow and we got a lot of letters."

**Cheap ass? Do you want me to get into what happened in Vegas?"**

America: "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."

Denmark: "How'd you think of her story so far Prussia?"

Prussia: "Shhh I'm still on the first chapter, but so far it has a unhealthy amount of Austria."

America: "What about Romania?"

Prussia: "What about diets?"

Denmark: "All USUK aside we have another letter, it's from another usual. It being MiriyaOtaku..."

"MiriyaOtaku:Ciao again from the not-quite-as-awesome-as-you-guys me!

Prussia: If you were stuck on a deserted island, what five things would you want to have with you?

America: You...poisoned Italy's pasta?! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! I'M GOING TO TELL ROMANO!

Denmark: If you found out you had only five days to live?

Sweden: What do you think of PewDiePie?! I really want to know!

Well, bye again! *starts dialing Romano's number on phone*

PS: Prussia, I found out I have the same birthday as you!"

Prussia: I'll answer first. One! I want Gilbird, because he's my companion. Two! I want the best beer in the world! Three! Austria's Vital Regions! Four! Bruder, since I want some else to suffer with me. Five! A plane to get off the island."

America: "Don't you dare! I thought it'd be funny, but it just got scary and cruel. After I had my life, I'd witnessed Northern Italian Wrath. Screw the 2ps, North Italy is the scariest thing one can imagine."

Denmark: "He's still pretty traumatized. Anyways my answer I'd raid Central Europe's beer supply and drink myself dead on the second day."

America: "Epic."

Prussia: "Just hope you don't have five days to live or it'll just be one. Also, you're born on awesome, MiriyaOtaku."

Sweden: "I'll go, Pewdiepie... He and I are bros."

America: "Awesome! I never knew Sweden was this awesome."

Denmark: "He's annoying after a while though."

Prussia: "How?... Anyways on to the next letter!"

"Ok question for everybody!

What's your absolute fave song, and will you sing it?

And no wimping out Germany!"

America: "Party in the USA, don't judge me. I just like it 'cause it has a lot of me!"

Denmark: "I've been too busy to occupy myself with music, but my people seem to like a lot of American songs which is messed up."

Prussia: "Agreed, and mine is German Sparkle Party."

Sweden: "..."

Denmark: "Speak up."

Sweden: "Hurl up."

Denmark: "Toućhe."

Prussia: "Wait why'd the guest ask for Bruder?"

**It's just an error, it's not like Germany is actually here. Move along.**

America: "Next..."

"Hey,

Just came to ask if America knows where Missouri is. He owes me some money.

34th daughter, Logan D. Jones, Kansas"

America: "Sorry Logan, I haven't a clue. I only know where Iowa, Michigan, and Ohio are. Plus the Carolinas, Georgia, and Florida."

Prussia: "Why not help your boy out with his money problems?"

America: "If I do they'll all ask for it and ruin our perfect central government."

Denmark: "Cheap ass."

America: "Anyways... Here's the next one! It's from Madrid."

"Hey guys! I'm Spain's daughter Madrid! my real name's Victoria but that name's BS so I switched to Tori! also, don't ask about the Vargas, I don't, even know myself, you'll have to ask papa Espana about it.

Prussia: How do you stay so awesome?

America: *hugs* THE HERO HAS RISEN!

Denmark: can you hug Sweden for me? *thinks sibling love is adorable and deserves respect*

ADIOS B*TCHES!"

Prussia: "Well to stay awesome you have to be awesome, simple as that. If you want to be as awesome as I call 1111-LUV-PRUS. With this TV offer I'll also include an America plush and a replica of Denmark's axe. That's not all! If you call now it'll all be free! With shipping and handling..."

Denmark: "Sell out."

America: "AWW YEAH! America number one, bitches!"

Denmark: "Okay, I'll do your request. Swe~! Hugs~!"

Sweden: Punches Dane in the gut and walks away.

America: "Poor Dane..."

Denmark: "Take care, Tori!"

Prussia: "Kesesese I'll read the next one!"

"S: Daddy, you can't deny the truth. We all agreed on it during the last states meeting. We also plotted on killing some people who made some stereotypes that we didn't particularly like. There's nothing to talk about anyway.

G: Stereotypes... I have something to discus next time about a prank.

N: Georgia coming up with pranks? O_O

S: What has the world come to?*dramatically falls knees*What has happened to make this world so twisted?*collapses to the floor*

F: Has she been hanging out with Cali?

N: Yeah... Really dad? Maine knows the difference between a log and an alligator.

G: And Maine rarely sees them.

S: How are we all so smart?

F: I think York got his smarts from dad.

N: The great Florida speaks!*sarcasm*

S: Thank you for telling everybody the obvious, Scott. I've been attacked by an alligator before.

F: I didn't hear about it, was it in Louise's or Missy's states?

S: No, it was in my state...

F: Your state has alligators?!

S: I'm taking you to a state park tomorrow to prove it.

N: Florida, you gotta give us ten bucks each if there aren't alligators and vice versa.

F: Deal.

G: Don't be afraid to call him what he really is.

N: Dick.

S: *snickers*

F: Please save me from my sisters and never call yourself daddy again. Yes, you did screw up. A lot.

S: You never answered my question.

N: She only wants to know so she can set up a-*feels a hand slap over my mouth*

S: Too bad he escaped, I was going to ask him about Germancest.

G: Weirdo.

F: Bye*turns to sisters*Hurry up and call all the states its planning time!"

America: Pouting "I had water in my eyes, okay?!"

Prussia: "Germancest... America Whats wrong with South Carolina?"

America: "I think someone dropped her on her head a lot. Florida, I'll save you only after you truly forgive me."

Denmark: "Dude, that's a dick move. See what I did there?"

America: "Yes and not cool. Also... I DO NOT LOVE ENGLAND!"

Prussia: "Keep telling yourself zhat."

America: "What was that North?"

Prussia: "Anyways, that's all folks!"

Denmark: "Where's Sweden?"

Trio: Shrugs "He must have escaped."

**Sweden, Germany, and I would like to say adieu and see you next time. We won't be having any special guests but who would you like to see next?**

**England?**

**BTT?**

**Norway?**

**Austria?**

**Or anyone else?**

Russia: How about me?"


	8. Chapter 8

**As always I do not own Hetalia, thank the awesome Himaruya. This is rated T for language and suggestive themes. Enjoy~!**

* * *

**Awesome Letters to Awesome Chapter: 8**

After playing ping-pong, a ringing came from Alfred's Mac. "Yes we've got mail!" Then the trio marched to the computer.

Prussia: "This is totally awesome."

America: "Hey look Skype is finally working. I'll just call Iggy and tell him to disclaimer our relationship."

Denmark: "Pssh, all you're doing is calling your boyfriend."

America: "Shaddup. Anyways the first is from Elizaveta who votes Iggs."

"*holds up RPG* two words "Italian Mafia" thats right I'm northern Italian i dont care if i live in the Us I'll blow you sky high with my sniper skills if  
you think Italy is scary you got another thing coming my insanity rival Belarus's! any way  
America: keep calm and kiss England! *RPG!* ok actual question how do you feel about your economy?  
prussia: are you aware as of either 2005 or 2008 the land that once occupied Prussia/ Kalinagrad is now the micro nation of NEW PRUSSIA, HELL YEAH! how do you feel about this?  
denmark: what's you favorite brand of beer?  
su-san: why do you mumble?  
again I am sorry for admiting UsUk love now I need to go before Iggy wakes,  
CIAO USUK!  
Elizabeta H. Austria"

America: You can't tell me what to do, I'm the land of the free! But my economy is kind of depressing me. Having a bad economy also does a great deal on a country's health excluding Prussia. Though he's not a country.

Prussia: After intensely glaring at America "Well having my own place does sound nice and it would explain why I'm still alive and I knew it existed, but I still love to hang with bruder."

America: "And by hang, you mean annoy extensively."

Prussia: "Ja pretty much."

Denmark: "Anyways I'd say Holsten Pils, a Germanic beer that is the best! Also I can answer Su-san's questions, he mumbles because he's shadowed by my awesomeness. He secretly looks up to me."

Prussia: "No..."

America: "Also... I do not love Iggy!"

Denmark: "He's in denial."

America: "This next letter is from Estalla."

"Ciao imma back b/tches! I have revived from the hospital but im still angry at you PRUSSIA!"

Prussia: "Why me?"

"Austria: Pack your bags and leave your house! Prussia is a coming to steal your vital regions!

Norway: Why dont you love Denmark D': your meant for each other!

England: I LUVS YOU! But i dont know why no one else can see flying mint bunny  
cuz i can!

Also i dare ya to look up UsUk DenNor and PruAus and see which one can survive the longest seeing them pics!

Ciao.  
-Estella Tweak!"

America: "Look what you did Narrator, now all three of them will be pissed at us."

**In my defense, I think I've already got the next person to come on the show.**

Denmark: "Well I better forward the message to them." Clicking on icons.

America: "I'll read aloud Iggy's response, he says... I told you so."

Denmark: "I'll read Norge's... He's says that I should go screw myself with a rusty fork and that he's never go out with me except if his little brother was on the line. He also says call me big brother."

Iceland: Enjoying sleeping at home then mumbles "Never."

Prussia: "I'll read Specs'... Hungary is over at the moment so it'd be better if you came out another time... Please help! Jeez the priss is trapped. I'll save him later."

Denmark: "My turn to read, this is from MiriyaOtaku..."

"Awesome Trio!  
Ok, fine America, I won't tell Romano, as long as you're sorry. (He'd probably go mafia on you)  
Prussia: If you were a girl for a day, what would you do? Would you still be awesome?  
America: Si, Italy can be VERY scary when you make him mad! Also, does your ahoge/Nantucket do the same thing that Italy brothers curls do when pulled?  
Denmark: If you and the rest of the Nordics were girls for a day, what would happen?  
I shall be leaving again! *goes to eat some gelato with the Italy brothers*"

Prussia: "I'm always awesome, whether boy or girl. I might get sexy awesome, but Fritz was a my misogynist. So my awesomeness will balance out most likely. So yeah, always awesome!"

America: "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Also Nantucket well... Does do the same, I'm not the only one though. There's Austria, Canada, Norway, and South Korea. Do not touch my curl though!"

Prussia: "Specs has the same thing? Interesting..."

Denmark: "... Anyways I'd probably cry a little seeing as I get excluded. Then let big brother see how his sisters have 'grown'."

America: "Pervert."

Denmark: "I know you are, but what I am?"

America: "Pervert."

Prussia: "To end that I'll read the next letter! This next one is from Tori..."

"Denmark! can I borrow your battle axe? I wanna have an axe battle with my dad!  
Prussia! thanks for the advice your awesomeness! I'll call right away! *calls, gets dial tone* GOD D*MMIT!  
America! please, dont call your... yeah... Florida anymore, Flori got really upset about it.  
CIAO A F*CKING BELLA!"

Denmark: "On true experts can wield the King's weapon. I see potential in you child, you may use it." Gift raps it then sends it through the mail.

Prussia: "I know I am awesome, just need to help the rest of the world."

America: "Yeah... I wasn't planning too... Sorry 'bout that Florida... I'll just read the next letter..."

"Matthew Williams:Um, hi. Papa France and I were just wondering why brother America likes England so much. We always thought that he liked Japan. Papa also wants to remind Prussia about the BTT meet up Friday night. That's all I have to say. Bye."

America: "I don't like England! Or Japan! Why can't everyone just understand that."

Denmark: "Liar liar pants on fire!"

Prussia: "I know, I'll be zhere. Just have to deal vith these two dummkopfs."

America: "Bye Mattie. Why does everyone care about my relationship with England?!"

Denmark & Prussia: Shrugs

**Because you're** **not telling everyone. If you do not tell the truth, I'm going to have to use the powers of fandom on all three of you.**

Trio: "Why us?"

Also I have some news to share at the end of your show, so stay tune.

Prussia: "I'll just read this next one..."

"S: There is nothing wrong with me! I was not!*starts crying into the nearest person's shoulder*

F: *awkwardly pats her back* Um...there there?

N: The first outsider she really talked to was France.

G: That explains a lot.

S: *gets off of Florida, hasn't even been crying*You guys are mean.

F: Yeah, not apologizing. Not funny, Denmark. Not funny. At. All.

S: **. You do too.

N: I said, if you say you're single South's gonna-

S: *punches her in the stomach*Enough out of you.

G: I would run away too if I were them.

S: Floridia lost the bet.

F: Floridia?

S: Yep!"

America: "South! No hitting North! And the poor girl, meeting France." Shudders

Denmark: "It was completely funny, Florida."

America: "Since when has Florida called himself Floridia? Well I think you're lucky Florida, 'cause we still haven't even mentioned the number of old people you have. One time while I was there, I exchanged enough war stories to get myself out in a home."

Prussia: "Dude..."

America: "Funny thing is that I'm the youngest of the group even."

Denmark: "Are you calling us old?!"

America: "Quiet down, gramps."

**Now for the announcement , I've decided two things. One I believe the trio lacks a member. Someone with an ego bigger than all theirs. Put your hands together for South Korea. He'll be your new co-star and your unofficial fourth member.**

**Second, I have the guest or guests locked up in this crate. It is not the Tomato Box Fairy. Put your hands together for...**

**England!**

England: "..."

America: "DUDE!"

**Wait till next time when he wakes up and is completely angry at all of us. Ask your dirtiest USUK fantasies, keep it T though. Requests are also permitted, like telling them to hug or...**

America: "That's enough, I'm leaving."

**Stay tune for next time!**


	9. Chapter 9 with 60 percent more England

I do not own Hetalia, thank Himaruya if you must.

* * *

**Awesome Letters to Awesome Chapter: 9**

After watching YouTube for a while as well as a whole bunch of cat videos the trio decided to check the inbox. "It seems we have more awesome letters today, men."

America: Yawns "I was planning on visiting Hawaii but okay. For the fans I guess."

England: "Aren't you forgetting about something?"

America: "What might that be?"

England: "WHY THE BLOODY HELL AM I TIED UP?!"

Denmark: "If you weren't tied you'd only annoy us more. Besides boss wants you here to answer letters with us. Duh."

Prussia: "Now zhen... I'll read first."

"S: Tais-toi avant que je prenne vos lunettes, les pousser à travers vos yeux, et vous pousse d'une falaise.(I was playing mafia and that's how I died. This was at church.)

N: That was...creative.

F: I'm glad I don't have glasses.

S: You have sunglasses.

F: Shit, I'm never wearing them again.

S: I'm going to the Greek Festival today.

F: Since never.

S: I now dub thee Floridia.*pulls a sword out of nowhere*

F: Help. Me. GET ME OUT OF HERE, SHE'S FUCKING CRAZY!

S: *raises the sword above my head and murders a table*

N: That was my favorite table...

G: *is laughing hysterically and South's cigarettes fall out of my pocket*

S: *dives for the cigarettes and points the sword at Georgia*

G: Put the cigarettes down. I told you to stop smoking.

S: I just killed that table, don't make me kill you.*pulls out a cigarette and lights it*

F: Go outside.*pushes her and her cigarette outside and locks the door. Thank you for mentioning the old people.*sarcastically*

N: It's not like your the porn capital of the US. Oh wait, you are.

G: At least the invasive species never came to your state...

N: I thought they hated your state so much they just passed through

G: Shut up.

S: You're all old.

G: How'd you get in here?

S: I climbed through the window.

F: I locked the windows...

S: Not the attic window.

N: How'd you...?

S: It shall always remain a mystery. TO THE GREEK FESTIVAL!*drags them all out the door*"

America: "I think I'm going to have to ask the seals to save ya Florida, but it's too risky."

Prussia: "I'll say, zhat vomen is crazy."

America: "I guess I may have dropped her on her head a few times..."

Denmark: "Why am I not surprised your states are like this."

America: "Georgia that isn't very nice. I thought I taught you all better. I blame Frenchie, Spain, and Iggs."

England: "Oh grow up, I'm a great parent. Well I did fail once... But that was because the kid was a complete idiotic bugger."

America: "Laugh at me all you want but I still kicked your ass."

England: "Get over yourself."

At that moment Denmark wanted to say his catchphrase but realized that England wasn't a part of the trio turned quartet.

Korea: I didn't get to say anything yet, Da ze!"

America: "Sorry K-Pop, just that I'm trying to talk to eyebrows here."

England: "Quit pestering me about my eyebrows already!"

Denmark: "Next letter..."

"HALLO IT IS I THE AWESOME PRUSSIANCROSS!  
Denmark how does it feel to have Sweden on top of you?  
CUZ I THINK ITS REALLY FUNNY IF YOU HAVE A DIRTY MIND LIKE ME! when ever I look at a map and see your country under Sweden and Norway  
Heheheh...threesome!  
AND PRUSSIA WHY ARE YOU SO AWESOME!

I have three questions

America: who do you like more Scotland or England?  
cuz I'm SCOTTISH! and we kick ** we water the ground with the blood of the English!

Denmark: Have you ever killed dragon?  
Cuz to get to the afterlife you need to out with a BAM!  
Like killing a dragon or raiding a village and light it on fire!

Prussia: what are your thoughts on world war two?

FROM THE AWESOME PRUSSIANCROSS"

Prussia: "I like his name."

Denmark: "Swe or Norge could never top the king!"

America: "Well the obvious answer is..."

England: Glaring at America at this point.

America: "Scotland! Totally worth it!"

Korea: "Scotland originated in Korea, Da ze."

Denmark: "Anyways I haven't the honors to kill a dragon. Though I did get a shot on the Grendel, but that's about it."

Prussia: "Vell, Vorld Var Two vas a time in which no one could say they enjoyed it. Though it was awesome because I could be vith West a bit more, though after World War Two, I lost everything."

Denmark: "Deep."

Korea: "Not as deep as Korea, Da ze."

America: "Somehow I have feeling his one liners are getting old too quick."

Korea: "Wants to read, Da ze!"

"MiriyaOtaku:Ciao again! Yay, more people I can ask questions!  
Denmark: All of the Nordics have become chibis! How will you deal with this?  
America: Don't worry, I won't pull it! Anyway, whats with all those states?!  
Who are their parents?!  
Prussia: What would happen if your brother became a girl?  
South Korea: What do you think of Gangam Style?  
England: Iggybrows, what do you put in your food to make it taste  
so...unique?!  
Bye once again! *goes back to watching MMD videos*, Da ze."

Korea: "I'll answer first! Korea says... Oppa Gangnam style!"

*after a brief dance break*

Korea: "Gangnam style is my jam and it originated in Korea, Da ze."

Denmark: "To answer your question, I wouldn't feel left out but see it as a sign. For big brother to take care of his younger siblings! I can raise them right this time and invade England more often."

England: "Sod off, git."

Denmark: "And I'd squeal to see a little Sweden who I can take- I mean teach. But if I were a chibi as well when you say all the Nordics. Then I'd enjoy my youth and invade Britain some more!"

England: "Piss off."

America: "As always it's a very long story about my states which is only awkward to get into. I don't like getting into genetics, I prefer to just act like a father to them."

Prussia: "If bruder was a schwester... I'd be zhe awesomest bruder alive! That would be true, if I wasn't already it! But seriously, I think I'd just be laughing for three days if he did change or laugh until he- she'd put me out of my misery."

England: "... Anyways, I put in quite a bit. Seeing as how I was once an empire that controlled the world, I believe I should be allowed to try out all the spices and ingredients I found."

America: "Translation, he mixes random things without any knowledge of cooking."

England: "Shut up, git! Anyways I'll read next since all you wankers don't know anything about English."

"Hi guys! :)  
Okay, here are my questions:  
America (And Iggy): Does the pairing EnglandxWorld/ WorldxEngland freak you out/ ** you off?  
Denmark and Prussia: What is the best prank you pulled on Norway/ Germany?  
(Sorry guys, didn't know what else to ask.)  
Finally, all three of you: Why do you guys not like the food England brings to the world metings? English food's yummy!  
Bye bye! :D  
P.s Does England's eyerows do the same effect as the curls when touched?"

England: "Of course not."

Quartet: "English food is simply bad."

Korea: "Da ze."

Denmark: "To answer your question I can't prank Norge, if I do, well... My hair is put the other way or my face. Whichever hurts more."

Prussia: "My prank was dressing up as Italy and saying so pretty nasty things to West."

America: "Iggy is shipped with the world? That slut."

England: "What did you call me?!"

America: "Nothing... Anyways I'll read the next one..."

"Thanks for the axe Mr. Denmark! *has an epic axe battle with Spain, wins sexily* I WON!  
Prussia: why did the call fail!? is there no reception in Spain to the line?  
America: Hey Mr. Alfred, guess who has a crush on D.C...?  
Adios"

Denmark: "Awww yeah!"

Prussia: "Well it only works in some place in Siberia."

America: "Is it Ummm... Ottawa?"

England: "Git, I think she's talking about herself."

America: "Why is she calling me 'Mr. Alfred', I prefer Mr. Awesome."

Prussia: "That's my name?!"

Korea: "That's kinda awkward, Da ze."

Denmark: "I'll just read the next one..."

"*cheers loudly* YEEEESSS USUK IS BACK BABY YEAH BUDDY ! FACE AMERICA, FACE!  
*Looks at passed out iggy* maybe I shouldn't have thrown so hard...  
ok questions, now that Iggy and america are here I want ALL YOUR OPINIONS ON  
MAH NEW ONE SHOT SONG FIC "Animal."  
Denmark: germanic beer ...nice, what are your battle axes measurements?  
prussia: what would happen if people started to call you Kalinagrad again?  
england: I CAN SE FMB! you are not alone  
usuk: *chants* KISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKISSKI SSKISSKISS!  
Any way *leaves GOOD scones on table*  
Ciao for now!  
Elizabeta H. Austria"

Denmark: "Well I don't measure them, because my axes don't need a length too measure their awesomeness."

Prussia: "I prefer to be called zhe awesome Prussia, but being Kalinagrad would be fine, I guess. I was once called zhe awesome Teutonic Knights, what can beat having knights in the name?"

England: "Really? You can see Mint Bunny?"

**By the power of the author, narrator, and god I demand you follow the fan's request!**

America: "You mean kiss?"

**That is correct, Korea get the camera.**

Korea: "Okie-Dokie, Da ze."

*narrator powers activated*

America: Sudden kiss with England.

England: "What the hell narrator?!" Mumbles some Latin to the group.

**Zzzz**

Everyone except Iggs are asleep.

England: "Now to make my..." America fell on him "Bugger."

*after a few hours*

America: Yawns then faces the audience "I'll read this one."

"This is for all 'yall!  
If you turned into an animal for a day, what animal would it be and what would you do while being said  
you do while being said creature?creature?"

Denmark: "I'll be a horse, so Norge can ride me. God damnit Author, quit making me say things that I don't mean!"

**Heheheh**

England: "I'd be a unicorn. Then I'd frolic in strawberry fields forever."

America: "I told you no drug references."

England: "But it's the Beatles!"

Korea: "I'd be a leech, then I would latch on to aniki's breasts!"

Prussia: "I'd be an eagle, because Prussia is represented by an eagle and I would shit on Specs piano."

America: "Copy cat..."

Korea: "That's all for today, Da ze. We still have England around so that if you missed him, we'll give you another chance, Da ze."


	10. Chapter 10

**I do not own Hetalia, thank Himaruya if you must. This is rated T for reasons already listed.**

* * *

**Awesome Letters to Awesome Chapter: 10**

As the horror movie slowly ended sacred America clung to England and everyone was just laughing at him.

Korea: "I think it's time to check the..." Opens his gmail account "Woah, Da ze. We've got mail~"

Denmark: "Awww yeah!"

America: "I'll r-read f-first."

"Hey Awesome trio!  
First: DENMARK IS THE MOST AWESOME COUNTRY EVER! I'M DANE AND PROUD OF IT!  
*coughs* Sorry 'bout that. I like the rest of you guys too! Though, America, you are a bit too weird... Oh, and good day to you, England.  
Question to Prussia: Why haven't you changed your name to "the awesome Prussia"?"

Denmark: "You're damn right I am, king of Nordics!"

Prussia: "Vell legal things are very complicated vith zhe Awesome Prussia."

America: "Guys! I'm not done reading."

"Actually, I'm writing because my imagination wanted to run while for a bit. It's alive. Just call her I-M. Anyway, I'll let her write now. See ya!  
I-M: Heya guys! Actually, I just wanted the computer. *Opens amazon* Let's see... You're weird, America, and I just found a bison horde you pissed off, so how about I send you that? *Sends bison horde and smiles evilly*  
M: Oi, isn't that a bit mean?  
I-M: I'm not done! Prussia fought wars against Denmark! I can't forgive that! *Searching a bit around on amazon* *reads* So ice bears are the biggest land-living carnivore, huh? And they match your hair Prussia! How about I send you... 10 evil, dangerous and prussia-hating ice bears? *Sends ice bears*  
M: Hey! That's going too far! *Tries to get control*  
I-M: Stop it! Or I'll send 100 evil, dangerous and prussia-hating ice bears!  
M: *Quiets down*  
I-M: Better. Hm, I'm actually feeling in a mood to do something good... I'll send England a horde of giant crabs to cut of his hands, so he can't cook anymore!  
M: Hey!... Actually, that's a good idea. Proceed.  
I-M: *Sends crabs* Oh and before I forget! Denmark, I got you 5 bags of piratos and a super-sized popcorn to enjoy the show of Country vs. Vicious animals!  
M: I'm sorry, America, Prussia, England: I hope your deaths won't be too painful!"

While Denmark munched on his popcorn, he watched bison explode (Murica), Prussia get mauled by bears over and over again, and England offer scones to the crabs who then died afterwards (God have mercy on there souls).

Prussia: "Zhat wasn't fun... And besides who didn't I fight yet? I fought Poland, Lithuania, Russia, Austria, England and France, plus a few others who didn't have as awesome of a fight."

Denmark: "Hey! That was rude." Goes on to Amazon for more Prussia-hating ice bears. "Out of stock..."

Korea: "I'll just read this next one because it originated in Korea. Like Ice bears and bison, Da ze."

"MiriryaOtaku:Ciao you guys...*sits in emo corner after learning what episode 23.5 was about*  
Well, I guess I'll come out of the emo corner to ask you guys a question!  
Here's a question for everyone: What do you guys think about Creepypasta? No, it's not food!  
Well, bye...*goes on to youtube to watch epic mmd videos to make herself feel better*, Da ze."

**I love Creepypastas, *cough* How to cook Italy *cough*. I heard of episode 23.5 a while ago, so I'm not traumatized.**

England: Searches it up "What the bloody hell... Sick Americans."

America: "Why are you blaming me?!"

England: "No reason..."

Korea: "Creepypastas originated in Korea, Da ze."

Prussia: "They aren't that bad, heck they make me kinda sleepy."

Denmark: "Agreed."

England: "I'll just be reading the next one..."

"Hey there. My name is Black air mage and i ship you guys to a lot.  
Denmark: You know that there are people that pair you with Germany right? How do you feel about being with pair with Germany?  
Prussia: Do you know how old Germany actually is, since you are his older brother? (There is a theory that Germany is Holy Rome Empire)  
America: Kiss Iggy! Serious, just admit that you love England since you are in a "special relationship"?  
England: How do you feel about America, in a romantica sense?  
South Korea: Why do you grop China's non-exsisted breast?  
All: Has anyone ever kiss another male country on the lips before? If so, tell us the readers!  
Here are some German beer for denmark and Prussia, Earl tea for England, visa card of $25 for america, and china plush for Korea."

Denmark: "I didn't know that, thanks for telling. I thought everyone would just pair me only with my subjects."

Prussia: Oh um... I can't really say. You see... Um America, why don't you follow his request."

America: "Hell. No."

**By the power invested in me, you must kiss!**

America: Kisses England randomly

England: "Bloody hell! I do not like America! Nor did I enjoy that kiss." Cusses at the narrator.

Korea: "I grope Aniki's breasts because they are mine, Da ze. I also grope Japan's and Hong's as well, Da ze." Fondling plush.

Prussia: "I did kiss a boy before on the lips, it was Austria and it was only to tease him."

Denmark: "Well I did have to do some kissing while I was married, just don't remind Swe or Norge."

America: "You can guess that I have..."

England: "..."

Korea: "I haven't kissed a boy yet, Da ze."

Denmark: "I'll just read this next one, because I'm king."

"The awesomeness has return!  
I just finish my fem!Scotland cosplay!  
soooo I have some more questions for you guys

America: if new Zealand and Australia are your brothers as is Canada then that means you are related to all of the Canadian provides cuz some of them are  
older than Canada by a few decades so would that make some of them your brothers and sisters?

Denmark: if you could would you go back to paganism?

Prussia: do you wish that Germany was the one to be dissolve instead of you?

south Korea: why were you banned the anime and how does. that make you feel?

FROM THE AWESOME PRUSSIANCROSS"

Korea: "Well I was found offensive by my own people, Da ze."

Prussia: "I would rather be dead then West dissolving."

Denmark: "If I do go back to paganism I might face a few problems..."

Teutonic Knights (Prussia): "Pagans must convert." Throwing acorns.

America: "Well the whole province thing is rather confusing, I guess it takes more than just a history book to know about us. Canada and I have been around even before people like France or Britain arrived."

England: "Who's Canada again?"

America: "We went over this..."

Prussia: "I'll just read this next letter."

"F: Please help me! Please... I'm guessing there's no help...

G: Just shut up.

N: *sits in a rolling chair with my feet on a new dogwood table*They replaced my table

S: I'm not crazy.*pulls out a cowboy hat, shoves it on my head, and lights a cigarette*

N: *mutters something that sounds like two different types of trees*

S and G: *look at North worriedly and tense*

F: What'd you say?

N: *explodes*YOU DAMN BASTARD YOU LEFT ROANOKE FOR THREE YEARS JUST FOR SOME STUPID NAVAL WAR?! YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN FRANCE AND SPAIN WHO BOTH JUST FLAT OUT ABANDONED SOUTH!

S: *freezes with tears welling up in my eyes*

F: *awkwardly moves to the other side of the room, away from the Carolina drama*

S: *runs up the stairs, cigarettes and an iPod else fall out of the pocket of my large sweatshirt*

N: *picks up the iPod and unlocks it before going to safari*

G: All I did was take away her cigarettes.

F: I say you're a terrible parent, each of the original 13 are messed up some way or another. Delaware claims he's the oldest, Penn is a pyromaniac, New Jersey is obsessed with Italian stuff, Georgia is-*stops as I feel like there's a hole being burned in the back of my head*violent, Connecticut is always reading, Massachusetts is gay and a "Puritan", Maryland is too perky, South Carolina is an absolutely mad- well according to North she wasn't always like this she just kinda snapped after the Forbidden War, New Hampshire acts all snoody, Virginia can't cook, New York has an oversized ego, North Carolina secretly hangs out with Louisiana to do black magic, and Rhode Island has a temper shorter than he is.

N: How did you know about that?

F: Alabama.

G: He's a douche. I'm not all that violent, South is also in the top ten most violent states.

N: Virginia has thick eyebrows, but she waxes them twice a week.*chokes on a Pepsi I was drinking as I found something on South's iPod and runs upstairs*

F: If anybody sees Spain tell him I said hi"

America: "Again I blame Britain, after all it was England who helped parent the first 13 as well. Besides I may have screwed up on the east coast, but I always have the Midwest, Southeast, Southwest, and East Coast. Who am I kidding I'm a terrible parent!" Crying to himself.

England: "There, there."

America: "I think I'll just call DC, maybe he can cheer me up."

... ... ... ...

America: "He didn't pick up."

England: "I'll read this one..."

"I DO NOT LIKE D.C IGGY! Berlin does! duh! all of the Capitals know this!  
well... except for D.C that is...  
Denmark: *returns axe* thank you King Mathias! *bows*  
Prussia: that sucks, I might head down to visit Siberia later! D  
America: sorry Mr. Hero!  
Adi -f*cking- os"

England: "Sorry! Wanker."

America: "Berlin, eh? Well it looks like I finally have an excuse to bug DC."

Prussia: "It also only works in December so you better time your trip right."

America: "Last message of the day. I'll be reading this one, guys."

"*over nine thousand fan squeal* Mah otp !  
iggy: YES I CAN SEE HIM or her ya no I never asked the gender but in the fact  
I'M English, Irish, and welch I can see dem  
America: SCOTLAND VAT !? No bre just no you obviously LOVE England and he loves you back!  
denmark: dats ok I'll just make mein own awesome compound bow!  
Prussia: ok well I think Prussia is awesome ...mainly cause I'm of royal  
prussian decent.  
england: Please to a spell to bring me into the room so I can slap America while saying "GIT!" cause he is, or do it yourself  
OH MY GOD DO NOT EAT THE SCONES I LEFT they may or may not be my love potion  
scones that make you and the person closest to you and your heart fall in love with each other and display it publicly, heh whoopsies any way  
CIAO FOR NOW!  
Elizabeta H. Austria"

America: Crosses arms "I have no regrets."

Prussia: "Well she's more awesomer than expected, even though she has such a weird name."

England: "What was that about not eating the scones?" Swallows last of the scones. "Oh bugger. Oh wait I think I'm going to hurl." Loving embrace to America then barfs out potion.

America: Blushing "Well I think we've had enough of England as our guest. All you fans say goodbye to Iggs. See you next time." Pushes England into large cardboard box and ships him back to Britain, but misspells and writes Brittany (France).


End file.
